Calming Down

Sometimes I look at my kids when they can't settle down and I feel all topsy turvy. Part of me just wants the day to end and I'm frustrated by the fact that these little people are still emitting enough energy to power a small city; part of me just sees a beloved little person who is full of feelings that are so new to them it's a wonder they don't burst.

And sometimes I feel like I could drop all my pretenses of adulthood and just pick up a loud toy and make a ruckus with them.

Today is one of those days and the energy is slow to come out of all of us. I feel like one of those games I had as a boy where four players release spinning tops from the corners of something that resembles a miniature boxing ring and watch to see which one will be left standing as they collide and dance with each other - right now it looks like my daughter will be the one.

When I have one of these days when everything feels new and unfamiliar to me and I feel all out of my comfort zone and just want to pig out on beer and pizza and ice cream and anything that will put the pin balls inside my head to rest, I just wonder how the kids do it - how do they handle all those rapid changes and not go bonkers.

There's no answer. I don't remember myself and my kids either don't understand the question or won't give up the secret. All I know is that I'd like a tablespoon of whatever they've got to maintain sanity tonight.

Good night.