Things have gotten easier. I also feel much luckier than I used to. It's almost like I used to feel when I realized that the math lessons that had seemed so difficult at the beginning of algebra felt more basic and natural at the end of the school year.
I hope I can carry this feeling with me for the next few weeks while we go through the next battery of scheduled visits for my son. We've got to check in with the neurologist and then an orthopedic surgeon and then back to the hematologist and on to the next round of constraint therapy. It makes me tired just thinking about it all. I feel like we're all preparing for boot camp.
"Somewhere on the other side of this hill," I keep telling myself, "is Spring."
I suppose that's right. I suppose if we have to be busy and loaded with appointments, it's better to do it in the bleak mid winter.
I'll just keep thinking about the longer days and the softer light and the budding trees. I'll keep thinking about my boy turning two years old in March.
It's definitely getting easier.